Haiku: First Time
Haiku # 1
Faint recollections
Sipping sweet mountain berries
Amid nuptial bliss
This is my first attempt at Haiku (correct syllabic form: 5-7-5). I was initially inspired by writer, RICHARD WRIGHT after learning that he wrote over 4,000 in the year before his death. Today, I was inspired by Sage-Petals after visiting her page. If you know Haiku I would love your honest feedback.
Comments
I love it! Haikus can be very addictive so I can see wht Wright had written over 4,000. Didn't know that.
So, I've learned something and had an encounter with beauty.
Not bad for a day's work.
Thanks, Stephen!
I'm so happy to read your first HAIKU !
It's beautiful to remember your honey moon, am I right ?
The berries give an idea of the time in the year (summer ? Depend the berries)
And we have an idea of the location too: a mountain
Good !
I hope you were pleased to write it !
I'm glad that you liked it! It was fun to write. The photo was my inspiration. Peace, brother. :)
Cergie-
Thank you! I'm glad that you liked it. :) It was during our honeymoon and it was in the Summer. We were actually near the water and the 'mountain berries' represent the flavor of the wine we were sipping the night before. Big fun! :)
I read the poem and immediately knew what it was about! I love it!! =)
I wrote a Haiku on my blog recently. Haiku #23. Check it out! =)
~UB
where to begin. saw your comment on crystal's page. saw you're headed to south africa too. came to your page. read your sanchez entry (i took a class with her here in philly not too long ago). it seems we share some of the same interests. so i think i'll be checking your blog often. :)
And this one sounds good, indeed.
Please do write more and share with us...
Thank you! I'm sure that you will find that in a man one day. It will probably be rather sudden. At least that how it happened with me. :)
Sage-
Thank you so much. You're too kind. You really were an inspiration. I'll share more soon. :)
April-
Welcome! Yes, I remember seeing you there. I'll have to check by your blog as well. Peace~ :)
Rethabile-
Thank you kind sir! :)I appreciate that. It always much appreciated coming from fine poets like you and Geoffrey. Peace~
Ash-
Thank you and I will. :)
I enjoyed your piece and the picture but I need someone to splain it to me (haiku) like I'm 5.
Hey there! Well, basically it's all about the syllables. A syllable basically breaks a word down as if you were saying it slow*ly. For example, the word re*col*lec*tions has 4 syllables. In writing Haiku it is important that you count those syllables. There are 3 lines in Haiku. The first line has to amount to 5 syllables. The second line amounts to 7 syllables and the 3rd line is back to 5. If you count the syllables in my poem you will find this to be the case. I hope that I explained it to you well enough?
Also, this form of poetry was invented by the Japanese. Enjoy your weekend!
I too am starting to enjoy haiku when I didn't before.
I'm referring to Michael's message upstairs about your haiku's scansion. Once you start over-scanning, you start adding unnecessary words here and there to satisfy the scanner. At that time your poem's as good as dead.
You married???? :)
Dance-
It really is because I was in Starbucks writing some last evening. :)
Susan-
Thank you! I find it both enjoyable and a bit challenging.
Writer-
Wright is one of my favorites. I'm always happy to share. Did you post your Haiku? I'll have to go see.
Rose-
Thank you. She was not a completely willing participant because she had just awakened, this is why her head is turned as I snap. :)
Xavier-
Thanx! We do share that fondness! :)
Rethabile-
Adams Morgan is a great place to hang out. That's one of my favorites and Ntshiuwa used to hang out there too. Yes, it will be nice during the Summer. I hope that you can come.
By the way I know what you mean by "over-scanning." The poem can lose it meaning altogether. I've experienced this just yesterday as I was trying to write more. Thanks for that.
Lyric-
You know I find it hard to believe that you can't write any form of poetry. I'm sorry for not buying that comment, but I've been reading your blog. :)
Otherwise, thank you so much for that compliment! I plan to make my purchase on Amazon this month.
I now understand and it makes your poem that more beautiful.
I'm going to attempt one
I'll be looking out. :)
Thanks. Yes, Wright was fascinating. I'm a student of his work. I really like my shirt too. My daughter bought that shirt for me on my birthday. Thanks! :)
I happy that you can carry something away from this post. Thanks. :)
blkfeline-
You can do it!! :)