Monday, July 03, 2006

Poem: The Meeting Place

I often write when I am inside a lounge or small club with tables. The atmosphere is so charged that it becomes inspiring. This is what I came up with on Friday night at The Meeting Place here in DC.


The Meeting Place

Men…traveling alone
Un-attached
Attached to many
Too many to count
So many strokes that
His tip lost count
Creeping...
Seeping into
A state of less than

Possibility of love
Condemned
No deliverance in sight
Citing authorship of promise keepers
Remembrance of lustful emptiness
Joined by lies
accompanied with afternoon brunch

Menu: Doubles and Salt-Fish
Beverage: Ting


The sweet, pungent smell of meaningless sex
Meaning less than salvation or
Greater than pleasure

Meanwhile, life is still in motion
While his brain cells soak in a glass of
Vodka
splashed with cranberry

17 comments:

icy_highs said...

oh puhleez if one more person uses the phrase "meaningless sex" ill kill myself. guess some ppl just nevr tire of cliches.
umm..and..
"so many strokes that his tip lost count.."???~!!
theres good metaphors, then theres bad metaphors, then theres really really bad metaphors. do u see where im going wt this?
oh n yea i dint mean to b rude. obviously.

icy_highs said...

p.s. notice clever use of "ill kill myself"..a typical 21st centruy cliche. dont fuck wt the dead people. thats just perverted.

Stephen Bess said...

icy-
lol. Thanks for your comment. :)

Stephen Bess said...

In his own way, icy_highs made a good point . We have to be careful of cliches in our writing. There are many worn out terms and phrases that we must avoid in our attempts to create.

Ananda said...

enjoyed the poem. keep it real and use what comes to you whether cliche or not. it comes from your soul. cliches come from your soul. honor it all. peace, ananda

Stephen Bess said...

ananda-
Yes, I agree that they sometimes fit. I was just excited about my negative comment. There is something complimentary about negative criticism. It tells me that they read what I wrote and they put a great deal of thought into what they wanted to say to me. It means that I still made an impact with my words.

Xavier said...

See this is a great example of what writing poetry is like: It's easy. you flirt with one of the Muses, seduce her, make passionate love under your favrite star and with any luck the product of that conception is a poem that seems inspired. A very enjoyable process, if you are a poet. The hard part is showing your work to the world: That's like getting into a wrestling ring naked and asking if there is anyone in the audience with the the guts to kick you in the balls. You always find takers. No offense to Icy, in fact his critique has some merit. But in the end who cares. Be your own biggest fan and keep the Muses busy.

As an aside, Maybe it's the addict in me but I liked the poem.

Simple Nester said...

Love the poem

NML said...

I agree with Ananda - you're writing off the cuff when you're out in a club. Cliche or not, you're writing what you feel like writing. This isn't Poetry Idol ;-) - we enjoy you're writing!

Stephen Bess said...

xavier-
Your comment is amusing and much appreciated. :)I will take your advice by keeping the Muses busy.

nester-
Thank you and hello.

nml-
Haa haa! "Poetry Idol" :)Thanks Paula!
I enjoy your writing too. You have such a way with words.

faith said...

I also have to agree with Ananda and NML. They put it so well, I will just say, keep writing from the heart. No disrespect to Icy, but we love your poetry as it is cliches or not!! Please keep writing from the heart, that is what I love about all your writings, I can see and feel what you are writing!

I hope you had a safe and happy Independence Day!

Bougie Black Boy said...

sorry i've been incognito. hope all is well!

tryphina said...

Haa haaaaaaa, Stephen I am sorry!! was I loud?
Your spot is so comfortable it creates/induce a JAM for the sublunary or shall I say terrestrial novice :)


You are a great author indeed.
"Men…traveling alone
Un-attached
Attached to many
Too many to count
So many strokes that
His tip lost count"

The poem paints a clear picture of a city or area where the men:woman ratio is about 1:5 there is so much contradiction and controversy in these places.

Stephen Bess said...

faith-
Thanks, I will continue to do just that. My 4th was spent at home with family and friends. It was nice. I hope that your holiday was nice as well.

bougie-
yes, I'm still hanging in there. All is well. I hope the same for you.

tryphina-
:)That's a nice ratio for some and not so nice for others. :)I like the way that you broke it down though. I wrote it from what I saw and what the scene reminded me of. Thanks Try!

Professor Zero said...

I like use of phrasing / rhythm / blank space in the 2 most recent poems ... and
the poems about people in urban spaces always fascinate me. Bar Nun picture is good, too. Lots of artistic talent here!

Delaleuverses said...

Wow, great atmosphere to find inspiration and you've done well with the visual, I felt I was right there with you.

Stephen Bess said...

profzero-
Thank so much for that comment. I get a great deal of inspiration from bars and lounge spots. I don't frequent them often so it's always fresh when I'm in that atmosphere (doesn't always smell so fresh). Glad you like the pic. :)

delaleu-
Thank you! I need to come up to NY and do the same. I know that my pen would just start to tremble in some of those spots.